Initially, I began this project thinking about particles which can move in time, even to the past. Reading quantum mechanics and studying infinite decimals gave me hope that I would not be alone when my loved ones get ill and die. Maybe we all live on.
Mostly I thought about my true love and the slow deterioration of his mind. I miss him even when I am with him. I always have. He is disappearing, getting more opaque. It starts with innocence – a childlike quality of curiosity and sensitivity.
In the film installation, I strive to show a connection between people, something that bridges the gap between each individual solitude.
This connection is something we seek throughout our lives. Whether with other people or with nature, we're looking for a touchstone. Something to moor us to our lives. To an infant, to be in a caregiver's loving arms in eye contact brings a sense of well-being and security. The gaze can be one of the most powerful, tender and intimate acts between two people.
The gaze turned inward – reverie – creates a connection with emotions and the subconscious.
How can people find solace in their lives? What calms a troubled mind?
Who are we, and from where do we come? I am of the place where I film this work. It is a place I return to in my dreams, and the pier always takes centre stage. The wind brings clarity, together with the scent of the sea and pines, but it is a wind that only whispers in this place – nowhere else. Every grain of sand, the reeds, blueberries, moss – all of the nature seems distinct to this place and speaks of the past, present and the future.
Windows, mirrors and portals appear throughout the film. Within are shown reflections, shifting appearances, memories, and possible futures. Generations intersect, cross and separate.
My film installation reaches to depict an experience of the world and memories. It manifests through blending the borders of dreams and reality. Linear time breaks down —the past, present, and future overlap. The veil is associated with rituals that mark time, and that which is hidden. There are possibilities, hopes, lost hopes – potentiality.
The mirror turns our gaze inward to the the secret worlds that people hide within themselves.
The soundscape creates an echo from the past, telling a story that takes one back, creating an atmosphere of wistfulness. The musicians in the film are passionate about their instruments and music, but they are not professionals, which creates a more authentic and earthy feel to the soundscape. The young, and the old share the world of sound, and both dwell in the same spaces.
In reverie a person creates a connection to the self through imagination and (day)dreaming.
